


sleight of hand

by aristos_philtatos



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: M/M, Quentin Coldwater Lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-09-03 05:08:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20259310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aristos_philtatos/pseuds/aristos_philtatos
Summary: Quentin was back to his old hobby.or they get to be traumatised, and they get to start healing and love each other





	sleight of hand

**Author's Note:**

> For all of you who are still rabid about the season finale

Quentin was constantly playing with cards these days: he used to do that earlier too, in less complicated times. He played tricks to distract himself from anxiety.

He didn’t remember when he stopped: he supposed saving humanity was a full-time job, and they always found themselves in a crisis or another somehow.   
Eliot was a bit ashamed to admit that he did very little of the world-saving himself, although being possessed by a monster for months probably excused for some part of it.

Now though, they had plenty of time, as they were holed up in the penthouse more often than not, recovering physically (him, mostly, and Julia too), and mentally (all of them).  So Quentin was back to his old hobby.

As was Eliot. Not the drinking, he would never go back there even if he could, and with a wound in his stomach, he most definitely couldn’t.    
No. As it was, he was Quentin-watching: all the time really, as the other man pretended not to notice.

Or maybe he didn’t, God knew where his mind was these days, after his near-death experience, and everything else he desperately tried not to think about, he seemed distant: and Eliot had promised the memory of him that he would be brave, yet here he was.

Chickening out.   
Watching those beautiful hands spin the cards from the other side of the couch, wishing he could curl up next to him: but all the times he tried to convince himself to just cross the distance between them, doubts filled him.

What if Quentin was not ready? What if he rejected him? He was told he and Alice had kissed before the whole mirror dimension thing. Never mind that Alice wasn’t even sleeping in the flat, that Quentin barely seemed to notice her when she was in the room.

He wasn’t noticing Eliot now, was he?

He did something complicated with the cards, and Eliot was almost sure it involved a bit of magic, and  somehow they all turned around his hand and none falls, none ever does. Eliot watched and pretended that his heart wasn’t aching, and at the same time wasn’t grown three sizes at Quentin’s focused little pout.

He didn’t know how long he stared at Quentin, mesmerised, but at some point, everyone else must have left, or they were never there in the first place, because they were alone, and a voice startled him out of his reverie.

“Am I that interesting?” the hands were still now, and he looked up to see Quentin watching him, eyes crinkled softly in amusement.

“You know I love your cards tricks” 

Quentin smiled at him, then turned serious, swallowing: he was nervous, his eyes always popped a bit when he was. 

“We should probably talk”

He felt tired in his bones, frightened by that conversation: nothing would ever be the same after. Eliot would have avoided it forever, but his Quentin was brave, despite everything, and he faced everything head-on, no matter how terrifying it was.

Loving him was so easy Eliot felt he could drown in it.   
He swore he would be braver, to earn the privilege of being loved by Quentin Coldwater.

“Q, I’m sorry”

“I-” he frowned, confused “what are you-”

Eliot interrupted him. “I lied to you”.    
And just like that, it just came pouring out.

“When we were in the throne room after we remembered the Mosaic: I rejected you, I said that being with you wasn’t me, that it wasn’t us.”

He swallowed; hands sweaty. Quentin’s face was unreadable.   
“I was afraid. God, you scare me so much, because I-” his voice broke. “You matter so much to me Q, and I was scared that if I said yes, I’d have ended up fucking it up like I always do”.

By the end of his speech, he had closed his eyes, head bent. 

He felt Quentin move, and then put his hand on his knee. When he dared look at him, he had a little sad smile on his face.

“As I’ve already said, I have proof that that’s not true” his smile grew a little, and Eliot couldn’t help breathing a little laugh.

“Yes but-”

“And what I was going to say is that now I have proof that I will love you even when I have other choices, and not only when where stuck in an idyllic life for fifty years” Quentin was fully grinning at him now, his face brighter than he had seen it in a long time.

And Eliot felt he could cry from the joy, his heart wanted to burst right out of his chest.

“You do? But you were so distant” 

“I thought to give you a bit to recovery before telling you” Quentin was looking at him solemnly now, he was so close Eliot could count the specks in his eyes “Eliot Waugh, I love you more than I ever loved anything else in my entire life”

“More than  Fillory ?” he couldn’t help but tease, because if he didn’t, he could do something very embarrassing and start sobbing.

Quentin laughed, grinning like an absolute madman “Fuck  Fillory , the only happiness it ever gave me was you”.

And Eliot wondered how the hell he even managed to ever reject this man because now he felt that if he didn’t immediately kiss him he would die (again).

So he did, and technically it was their first kiss that wasn’t caused by a high of emotions or happened in another life or a memory, but in reality, it was like coming home.

And after a second of it, he pushed away, because he realised he hadn’t said it yet.

“Quentin Coldwater, I love you and I want to grow old with you again” and Quentin, who had started to frown, smiled tearfully like the absolute sap he was, and kissed him again.

**Author's Note:**

> I wish I could tell you I was listening to Mystery of Love or something from Hozier while writing this but I was really listening to Best of Pop 2012-2015


End file.
